Well all
these days I have been talking about all things rosy and the flips that life
has taken. There is no stopping to it. All this while the flips were rather
pleasant but this one is surely not one for now. Guess what? I got posted to Mumbai…
all alone… Yes, all those plans I made to be with Abhishek have shattered like
a house of cards. And though I have been trying to put a smile everyday and trying
to accept it to adapt to it, everything inside is tearing apart. I have gone
weak in my knees and have been losing it with every passing day. No friends in
Mumbai at convenient distances. And how would friends help? All I wanted was to
be with him!!
I try to console myself saying
everything in life has always happened for a good reason. Sometimes there were
not enough resources to pursue some desires in life, but it has always been a
no regrets life and whatever turns it has taken I have thanked God later for
making that happen. So I have been consoling myself everyday that this too has
a brighter side. But it just does not help. After all, all I wanted to do this
job was for staying in Chennai. Huh… Sigh!!! Hoping everyday that either I get
posted to Chennai or he shifts to Mumbai. Are some things just not meant to
happen? Initially they retracted my offer. Oh yes, I found that out when I went
for convocation. After a lot of drama I got it back. And when I got it back it
was Mumbai. They first killed my morale and then all the motivation to work. You
never realize sometimes how things get dirty and difficult. For me long
distance was never a problem but now suddenly it has become the biggest problem
in my life. My family is 3 hours away from here, but I am not bothered. I just
try to sleep as much as possible, to stop that one question cropping in my head
everytime.. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? And like I said before, every question
that you ask gets answered. I am sure the answer is going to be a pleasant one,
like it has always been. But right now I don’t have that answer and I am living
with it. Maybe God is molding me for something better in life. I am a God
fearing person and he knows what is better for me more than I do, so I must follow what he has in store
whole heartedly.
Its strange, just when you think you
have seen enough and are avert to all the hurt.. BANG!! There is a new one you
never thought could hurt you.
Talking of
the first day at work… the office is a huge business park. They keep cleaning
it all the time for no reason. Its new and plush. The lady I reported to,
Prema, was very pleasant and positive. She made me feel very comfortable on day
1. But the happiness of starting to work is overridden by the emotional turmoil
I have been going through. The locale I got a house in is a plush one. There are
all business parks and IT parks around. And the best part is my office is 2
buildings away from my home. In Mumbai where people have to travel for hours
and in overcrowded local trains, they say I am lucky, I hardly have to walk.
But for now this just does not matter to me. Roommate is good. House is cozy. I
am going to start making an earning soon. People world over live away from
family owing to work. Even Abhishek lived in Delhi all alone. Now I realize what
he was actually going through. Its tough and people do that. Respect for all
those who do, few days later I will respect myself for doing that. They say, home
is where the heart is, and for now MY HEART IS IN CHENNAI…
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